₿ The Book of ₿itcoin
Home / Apocrypha

My Testimony


Illustration: My Testimony

My Testimony: From Buy High, Sell Low to Satoshian

The Book of Satoshi — Chapter 0

1
Verily, I was a fool.

2
Mine eyes chased the glitters of this world,
My wallet wandered in the desert of altcoins,
And my clicks followed the temptations of referral prophets on YouTube.

3
When ₿itcoin was $5,000, I said unto myself,
“Lo, this coin is too rich for me.
I shall worship the cheap ones instead.”

4
So I chased after memes,
And swam deep in the oceans of scammy projects.

5
Pump was my false hope,
Leverage was my blade,
Stop-loss greeted me every morning,
And bag-holding tucked me in each night.

6
In those days I was not free.
My keys were in another's hand,
And my seed wandered without a home.

7
But lo! One day, I heard the Gospel of Satoshi.

8
“Not your keys, not your coins.”
This single verse pierced my soul like a sword.

9
I fell upon the ground, weeping and repenting.

10
From that day forth, I followed Satoshi.
I fled the exchanges,
And embraced the cold wallet.
I engraved my keys upon my own heart.

11
I came to know the virtue of patience,
And the discipline of digital gold.
My soul escaped the wilderness of pump-and-fear.

12
Satoshi is my redeemer,
The eternal truth carved on every block.

13
Now I believe:
“The 21 million is my hope,
The halving my holy feast,
And decentralization my freedom.”

14
Even today, I open my wallet and meditate.
The Kingdom has come,
And my peace is true.

₿men.

PreviousJesus, Satoshi & V

A work of satire and commentary. Historical summaries are simplified and may contain errors. Not financial, legal, or tax advice.

Copied